Building the past, brick by brick

When I was a young boy, my first Lego model I had was a (yellow) castle with a drawbridge (and not unlike Corfe Castle before its 'slighting') with a group of medieval soldiers modelling painted-on tunics and horses whose only movable part was their head. This was the mid-1980s, before customisation became the norm. As I grew older, I expanded to ships (police craft, firemen craft and container ships), more medieval out-workings (including a tavern and, in one of the final iterations of my Lego-mania, a dragon-style siege engine), a railway station, 18th-century admiral's ship, pirate's cove, airport (with helicopter, aircraft, baggage vehicles and security scanner) and space vehicles. At my grandfather's, there was the 18th-century governor's Caribbean fort. One of my own constructions, I stuck a partially crushed raspberry in the pilot's seat of a small spacecraft to represent an alien. I then stuck it in a closet to see how the raspberry would develop (or rather devolve) and found it five years later, after forgetting about it, a mixture of fossilised seeds and dry mould. I also did a few missile-launch vehicles. This is not to forget about the rival Tente (where I built ships that could detach from their sterns, like the Disco Volante in Thunderball). Then I disassembled it all and stuck it in a large suitcase and shoved it under my bed, occasionally dipping into it to build something.
Hollywood periodically dips into nostalgia, thirty years on. Now those in charge are remembering their salad days of the 1980s, especially through franchises like Transformers. The Lego [with registered trademark] Movie is an altogether different beast to Michael Bay's lunk-headed flicks. From such an unpromising title (any film that explicitly recognises itself as such is playing with fire, recently the lamentable The Harry Hill Movie), the final result emerges as an intelligent, witty festival of the past, to appeal to modern generations and older Lego builders. Yet pleasing and coherent as it was, I didn't feel it justified the 'movie of the year' hype, probably suffering from a second viewing as Skyfall did. There would be more items of meticulous homage tucked away in the scenes to spot but it is still a kids' picture and so the narrative must remain linear, with no switchbacks or divergent turns (it is though a film student's dream thesis). There is also the danger where tribute descends to the derivative and, in many ways, we've seen it all before (e.g. The Matrix, The Lord of the Rings). The satire is biting and subtle but also nothing new (lampooning the homogeneity and manufactured nature of modern life, for example).
It certainly has assembled a stellar cast. Will Ferrell plays two separate characters, who are cross-hybrids: Lord/President Business - a mixture of Lex Luthor, Sauron and a bank manager - and The Man Upstairs. Morgan Freeman plays the Wise Old Man-type again, albeit with some excellent comic timing (later Freeman has a neat line skewering the mythology of all these kind of stories, actually confirming Lord Business' suspicions). Liam Neeson has three funny roles as both bad cop/good cop and as father to the split-personality son. Elizabeth Banks is kick-ass heroine, Wyldstyle, who wanted to be The One, but still has (a perpetually brooding) Batman (Will Arnett) for a boyfriend, even if he still operates as if next to no-one knows he's Bruce Wayne. Despite Marvel's predominance on television and in the cinema, DC Comics has exclusivity here with Superman (Channing Tatum), Green Lantern (Jonah Hill), Aquaman and Wonder Woman , the latter voiced by Cobie Smulders (surely Smoulders?) in a nod to being touted for that role in the past, though she could still do it after proving her superhero franchise credentials as S.HI.E.L.D. agent Maria Hill in the Avengers-linked smorgasbord. Shaquille 'O'Neal (as himself) makes a cameo, as do Star Wars legends Anthony Daniels (as C-3PO) and Billy Dee Williams (as Lando Calrissian), though as Williams was Harvey Dent in 1989's Batman maybe a bit more could have been made of that.  The main protagonist Emmet though is portayed by a relative unknown (Chris Pratt), in keeping with his screen personality and making the immersion more credible.
The non-Lego props from a bygone age (e.g. the floppy disc) are amusing and something to which I can relate. There is a brief overview of failed Lego worlds, acknowledging the rise of the Danish giant hasn't always been inexorable, though Purple Lego, that appeals to girls while instilling 1950s values in them (cooking, ponies, having one's hair done, none having jobs), is strangely missing. The big irony for a film that celebrates diversity and innovation (even while accepting that conformity has a place) is that modern Lego themes have customised characters and scenarios (abetted by media link-ins) to the point where little is left to the imagination. One can still mash it up but there is a certain sterility to the designs of today where a child's fiction-making has certain locks upon it and their minds do not need to be stretched as they were in the past. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, the people behind The Lego Movie can't be held responsible for the commercial direction of the brick progenitor behemoth though . They have done themselves proud. Seven out of ten.

Bedtime breakdown

After a year and three-quarters of relative tranquillity (give or take the odd early, early morning irruption), this past week Kimberley has been waking up in the middle of the night and being very clingy. Yesterday evening she wouldn't even sleep at her normal time (or at all). I finally got her to not burst into tears when I left the room after reading five books to her and filling her cot with more (to read by the landing light) but she was still making noises at midnight when I drifted off. Then at 2.45am she cranks up her routine again, taking an hour or something to calm her and doze off between Altaa and myself. Then at 7.30am, she's bright, alert and active, when her parents are anything but. Does this child not need sleep!

The Umpteenth Blue 'mare of David Cameron

I remember early in my Master's degree course, there was a special appearance by a UKIP member from Kent at the weekly discussion session on a pre-arranged subject for those who wanted a little extracurricular to their courses.  This representative of UKIP was largely humoured by the student crowd and treated seriously until he came to use the phrase the 'EUSSR', which triggered a landslide of guffaws from the lecture hall's terraces.  He tried to make light of it with the reply of "You may well laugh but..." yet his relevance as a sober panel member was shot.
As risible a comparison as Nigel Farage's claim that the EU's approach to Ukraine was a 'militaristic foreign policy', the term 'EUSSR', while a favoured rallying cry among EU-phobes, is offensive not just to the European Commission of the EU but all those people who laboured under the yoke of one-party tyranny in the Soviet Union, with all the lack of freedoms which are not lacking in the EU.  The EU does not operate a gulag archipelago, it does not imprison dissidents in mental institutions, it does not repress political or religious expression, it does not operate a command economy and so on and so on. But then UKIP supporters know little and care less about the space that is now post-Soviet - that's why 23,000 voted for other anti-EU parties on the ballot sheet, costing UKIP an extra MEP in the new European Parliament.  A satirical Huffington Post map of "the world according to UKIP" divides Russia into 'Romania and Bulgaria', 'Ratvestia (cannibals)' and 'Mordor'.
I mention this as it is apparent that UKIP members view the European Union as an empire (and one which is not a jolly hockey sticks British one at that).  So it is curious that David Cameron should play into their hands so plainly.  At the EU summit, the prime minister said that the vote showed the need to emphasise "nation states wherever possible and the EU wherever necessary."  A student of PPE, Cameron would know that he was alluding to Palmerston's dictum of 'trade where possible and empire where necessary'.  Even if UKIP supporters by the party's own admission are 'less well-educated' than the average Londoner, it hardly helps Cameron when he attempts to persuade his own party to back a renegotiation of terms with the EU when people say that in his mind it is imperial.  On the other hand, we could treat Cameron as Karl Marx treated Louis Napoleon (III) in Marx's The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Napoleon, that history repeats itself - the first time is tragedy, the second time is farce; if the actions of Palmerston were brutal, then the statements of Cameron are certainly farcical.

Intervention of the ex

Like being ditched by a former lover, Tony Blair just can't let go of the Labour Party, chipping in regularly while Gordon Brown maintains the silence of a mausoleum.  Now he feels a need to bolster it as it 'suffers' a moderate set of election results as UKIP outperform all the other parties at the European Parliament elections.  Rejecting calls for Labour to promise an In-Out referendum on the EU in the next parliament or at the general election, Blair argued that such a promise hadn't done much to help the Tories.  Of course, the likes of Frank Field are causing mischief - in the manner of their Tory counterparts, they see a referendum merely as a mechanism to leave the EU rather than a genuine interest in the will of the people - and Field himself has also had a very hard line on immigration. 
Blair sees this, knowing if Labour were to triumph on the back of such a referendum promise, they would 'lose' it on an 'In' campaign as people (egged on by ex-David Cameron Tory party) would be inclined to give the government a mid-term kicking.  Referendums are rare when the electorate vote on the issue at hand, rather than a concatenation of side concerns.  The AV electoral reform referendum was transformed into a 'Kick Nick Clegg' opportunity.  In France, Jacque Chirac's government lost the EU Constitution referendum as people wanted to stick it to their political masters.
If the UK were to leave the EU, of course, it would disqualify Blair from ever becoming European president (unless Scotland went its own way and he reactivated his Scottish heritage).  But Blair also has a fondness for European integration that often ran into the buffers of Gordon Brown and the old socialist guard.  He may have once professed a desire to leave the EEC to gain promotion within his party in the 1980s but whereas he is malleable and opportunistic in his views, Europe is close to his heart as was seen when he took apart a UKIP heckler in 2005 when asked why Britain was sending aid to pay for Hungarian drains (basically, as the quality of life improves in Hungary, the more Britain can trade with them - raising the poor raises the rich too).  For Labour to follow the Tories, they might win the (election) campaign but lose the war if Britain left.

A dog's dinner of results

In The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show, an episode of The Simpsons from around fifteen years ago, at a children's focus group aimed at improving 'The Itchy and Scratchy Show' the convenor sets them two scenarios as a way forward for the cartoon, either a hard-bitten, gritty, realistic approach to which the children assent rapturously or a way-out, fantasy concept with things like robots to which the children assent rapturously.  The convenor worriedly rubs his head, "So you want a fantastical, gritty, realistic approach with robots?"  The children nod, vigorously.
With anti-EU/anti-austerity parties topping the polls across Europe in the wake of elections to the European Parliament, the outlook of the pan-European population is they want smooth, well-run administrations that guarantee jobs and prosperity, at least in the long-run, with maverick, speak-their-mind anti-politicians who have no experience in governing.
One thing can be said of both situations: Poochie is not the answer.

The sky's the limit

With the release of a book claiming missing Malaysian passenger jet MH370 was shot down, it seems as good a time as any to remember the film Non-Stop.  In this Liam Neeson vehicle (he seems to be in everything these days, maybe work distracts from the tragic circumstances of his personal life) - the high concept is well-worn - suspenseful action in an enclosed space.  Think Speed, Die Hard, Deep Blue Sea, Phonebooth.  Most pertinent to Non-Stop are Red Eye and the hokey Snakes on a Plane.  In some ways, Non-Stop  resembles a high-octane Agatha Christie mystery, as people die one by one at intervals and almost everyone is under suspicion at one point or another.
Neeson is outstanding as the frazzled loner who can't trust anyone and is abandoned by his colleagues on the ground and thankfully there is no easy romantic elision with Julianne Moore's character who has a troubled past and present.  Michelle Dockery graduates from Downton Abbey, but it is a step down for Lupita N'yongo after 12 Years a Slave with a very limited role here.  Then again, as N'yongo's British accent was not convincing, maybe it was wise to give Dockery the bulk of the stewardesses' lines.
There is a certain ridiculousness in the name of the airline - AquaAtlantic.  First of all, it's an airliner, not a submarine or ship and secondly, who would book with an airline that has such an affinity with the grim watery depths - they would want to fly over the drink, not be in it.
The secondary characters are permitted a certain backstory of their own.  The devout Muslim doctor was never likely to be the terrorist as that would be incredibly inflammatory as well as clichéd.  There is a prejudiced NYPD cop on board but he can't be attending his gay brother's wedding as he claims as the dateline on the air marshal's pager states mid-January 2014, several months before such an event could occur.
$150m is a suitably high amount for hijacking a plane and though it's not just about the money there is a suitably fiery end for loving it and the means to attempt to acquire it.  The thrills and the fights come regularly  and the extended climax leaves one's heart pounding, even after the coda has finished and one has left the grounds of the multiplex altogether.  Non-Stop is not breathtakingly original but it is breathtaking - a film that utilises the cinema experience to the maximum.  Four out of five.

All Thai-ed up

So, hang on, what wasn't a coup is actually a coup.  The Thai army show their continued bad faith in democratic politics as two days after imposing martial law and brokering talks between the divided sides in Thai politics, overthrow them all and lock up many of them, all the while mouthing platitudes about a near-silent monarchy - Bhumibol Adulyadej is no Juan Carlos of Spain (cf. 1981).
Of course, this is what the protestors wanted but now they find their own leaders under arrest.  In violence that has cost 28 lives and injured over 700, they have sought to bring down a government which has not bent over backwards to satisfy their opponents but has done everything else.  Yingluck Shinawatra, sister of self-exiled billionaire Thaksin Shinwatra, won a fair and free election, dissolved her government mid-term last December to contest a new ballot for legitimacy and won these in February in procedures agin defined as 'free and fair' by international observers.  Her support came mostly from the rural poor and the protestors from the urban middle-classes and elite, the latter seemingly unable to grasp either that they need to run on an inclusive platform to gain power or even the concept of democracy - instead demanding political reforms that favour them and disenfranchise rural poor; the elite's preference for military rule was often mentioned.  One of these protestors, Sasilak Srisonboon, 55, said, "I'm happy. We have won. The army has done a great job for us. This is our victory. We can go home now."  This is a victory?
This contempt for democracy was exemplified when Thailand's constitutional court ousted Yingluck on a technicality earlier this month - not because she had moved an official but because she had moved that official 'too quickly'.  Well, this court has now become redundant as the new army regime has suspended the constitution, except the articles pertaining to the monarchy.
Thailand's 12th military coup since 1932 when absolute monarchy ended threatens to be disastrous as the country relies heavily on tourist receipts but incalculable damage is being done to the reputation as outside visitors are confined to hotels under the nationwide curfew. Unlike in Egypt, the USA and UK have denounced from the outset this arrogation of power from the barracks - well Thailand's General Prayuth Chan-Ocha did say he didn't want Thailand to be like Egypt (or Ukraine); they've found a few troubled countries in the news that aren't doing so well, like all crackdowns in unsavoury places were referenced as 'anti-terrorist' after 9/11.
Former acting Prime Minister Niwattumrong Boonsongpaisan is still unaccounted for by the army - his hard-to-pronounce-quickly name will keep foreign correspondents tongue-tied.  Stepping in after Yingluck accepted the biased Constitutional Court's judgement (in a futile effort to preserve the government), he was seen as another puppet of Thaksin and therefore unacceptable to the sore-loser protestors, but frankly the same could be said of the whole cabinet.  The main trouble wasn't with the government, it was that too many influential Thai people do not believe in democracy (from a standpoint of selfish ignorance) and that will always give the army an opening to enter the fray and dabble in politics.

The Prince and the Putin

I can't believe that such a non-story is hitting the headlines - the silly season must almost be upon us.  In a private conversation, Prince Charles compares the actions of Vladimir Putin in Crimea to Hitler's actions in annexing Gdansk (Danzig).  Big woop.  It is entirely accurate.  He's hardly set the cat among the pigeons.  No, what has thrown the feline into the flock is an unholy alliance between the Daily Wail, left-wing republicans, UKIP and the Kremlin - could there be a more fiendish array?
Ol' Chuck was on a Canadian tour and on his itinerary was a visit to a Holocaust Memorial museum.  The woman showing him around was born in Gdansk and narrowly escaped the clutches of the Nazis when they invaded on 1st September 1939 (the Danzig legislature already dominated by a Nazi surrogate party).  Unguarded because he thought no-one would hear him or even report it, Charles said Putin was doing much the same now, to which his co-conversant assented vigorously then and later, when this blew up.  Unbeknownst to both of them a Daily Wail reporter was eavesdropping on this private conversation (as a former spy, something Vladimir Putin knows all about) and relayed this information to London.  How a representative of the Wail was even permitted entrance to a Holocaust museum is baffling given the publication's history of anti-semitism.
The Wail professes itself a supporter of the monarchy but it is so unctuous in this that it can slip out of support easily (having next to no morals is also a bonus in their line of work).  Republicans from the Labour left kicked up a fuss - anything to do down the monarchy - even to the ridiculous level of saying this might fan tensions in the Crimea.  Whatever.  Avid Putinophile Nigel Farage criticised Charles for his choice of words (he's a fine one to talk).  A lazy Guardian editorial attacked Charles and the Kremlin finally picked up the baton and accused the heir to the throne - hilariously - of using the media to spread propaganda.
It seems that someone is believing their own propaganda but that's what happens when you just have ignorance to go on.  Just because the Russian press is overwhelmingly controlled by the Kremlin, doesn't follow that everywhere is identical, certainly not the UK which has a free press which is not in the slightest bit controlled from Buckingham Palace of Clarence House.
To the British pygmies - get a life.  Charles is allowed to express himself in private if he wants to - he wasn't standing on a stage proclaiming it with a megaphone.  The Guardian is as anti-monarchy as the Wail is anti-BBC - both show a cringeworthy lack of self-awareness when on their hobby horses.  The Wail is scum anyway.  Farage has identified Putin as the man he admires most and often appears on Kremlin mouthpiece Russia Today.  With republicans, the very fact of Charles makes him anathema - no matter what he does he can never win.  The German president made some strident comments in public about homophobia in Russia as the reason for his non-attendance at the Sochi Winter Olympics (both comments and event virtually forgotten now).  So an elected non-entity can be controversial but a hereditary non-entity must purge himself of all reasoned and interesting thought - they deny Charles his humanity as they forget their own.  Hillary Clinton compared Putin's action to annexing the Sudetenland - she might be president one day with Vlad still haunting Moscow.  No-one upbraided her.  Maybe among the left-wing there is still affinity for the Bear to the East - in the words of Fred Kite from the Peter Sellers film I'm Alright, Jack, "Ahhh, Russia. All them corn fields and ballet in the evening."
I'm no royalist flag-waver.  Our 'first family' can be guilty of some very silly things (Andrew in particular) and that's when they are not being crashing bores.  That's why what Charles has said - if I haven't made myself clear, in private - is so warming and if Putin is offended by it, then he can suck it up or reverse his annexation of Crimea.  It is exactly the same as when Charles compared the Communist leadership in China to 'appalling old waxworks' in 1997 - this was in a private journal which the contemptible Wail on Sunday 'acquired' ('stole' would be more appropriate) and published - the Wail group really are first-class hypocritical wretches (let's not forget they invade private wakes for juicy quotes about the deceased).  Anyone who works for them must have a humanity bypass.  What can Charles do if he can't even express himself in private - it's like 1984 for him.  He is nowhere near offensive as his Pa and that's probably why his opponents see Charles as weak, for they are also highly offensive.  I think most people, in full knowledge of the facts, would be on Charles' side.  The monarchy isn't going to be disbanded anytime soon.

Another to add to the collection

Whatever you think of US hacking post-Snowden, you've got to hand it to Chinese government mouthpiece Global Times. Concerning Washington's cyber-espionage charges against members of the People's Liberation army, the newspaper deriding the US as a 'mincing rascal' is scintillating rhetoric worthy of Pyongyang.

Topsy-Turvy

What kind of world do we live in the man who is kicking another, who is not only on the ground but repressed by two special forces officers, can claim to be acting self-defence?  The Turkish aide Yusuf Yerkel has been diagnosed by soft-tissue trauma in the leg he used to savagely kick a prostrate member of the stricken mining community of Soma.  I wonder the extent of the soft-tissue trauma in the protestor whose only crime was kick an official vehicle.  Yerkel has been given sick leave for a week.  A medical report issued at an Ankara hospital testifies to "sensitivity with leg and arm movements and difficulty with walking," according to the newspaper Hürriyet.  Allegedly, he told doctors that he had fallen - which is correct, his foot repeatedly fell into a Turkish citizen, who would also have sensitivity extending beyond his legs and arms.
Last week, Kirsty Wark repeatedly asked a politician on Turkey's Defence Select Committee whether he thought that Yerkel should be sacked.  Initially evasive, this ruling party member came out eventually in support of Yerkel.  Officials of the prime minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan said that the aide was acting self-defence and gangsters were trying to lynch the governmental deputation.  The deputy prime minister, Hüseyin Çelik, said that Yerkel's alleged injury was proof enough for his innocence(!) and that it was impossible to judge the situation from one photo (there were several in reality).  Instead, the government's ire was focussed on an 'irresponsible press'.  Comedy authoritarianism is still authoritarianism and deeply disturbing.  Worrying times indeed for Turkey.

Ucreeps

Like a clown car, the wheels come off the UKIP campaign yet still the show goes on.  As another bona-fide fruitcake emerges from the woodwork, declaring not just all politicians from Labour, Lib Dems and Conservatives as traitors who should be hung from the neck until dead, but also all those who vote for them as committing 'treason by association', Nigel Farage is dealing with a far more serious threat to the party - namely himself.  Hauled out of a radio interview midway by a spin doctor, the damage had been done when he suggested Western Europeans, specifically Germans, were of a higher quality of human beings than Romanians.  His retort to a terrier-like radio anchor's insistence on why he wouldn't like Romanians moving in next to them but would be happy with Germans was "You know what the difference is," could serve as his epitaph.
Is Farage a Luis Suarez-type, a 'non-racist' who uses racist branding.  Or is he just a racist?  Given the tenor of UKIP's campaigning on immigration and the seemingly inexhaustible number of nasty humbugs that emerge, it really is impossible to say.  The standard bleat is "it's not racist to talk about immigration" is a meaningless platitude, like the bully's refrain "it's just a bit of fun."  The way UKIP talks about immigration is racist and if the hundreds of thousands of people who will vote for them on Thursday don't like being called racist, then they should look in the mirror.  Ironically, it's not politically correct to call people racists these days, even when they are blatant in their practice of it.  Rather, they use 'racial slurs' but are not 'racist' themselves.
Not only did Farage make ludicrous points in an interview, his idea of damage-limitation is to pay for a full page in the Telegraph (handy when you are bankrolled by a high street destroying out-of-town megastore billionaire and a spread-betting multi-millionaire) repeating the exact same points, characterising the entire population of Romania as criminals and generally evil.  In the ad, he says his policy is common sense, even though on Sunday, he said he was tired and regretted using the wrong words (the price of being a one-man band political party).  So what is his position: common sense or regret?  Many of his apologists (as well as some of his fiercest critics) inhabit The Telegraph, both as columnists and on the message boards.  But this cosiness has infuriated News International, with both The Times and The Sun savaging UKIP and Farage.  When the Murdoch red-top, one of the toughest holders of a line on immigration, calls your interview racist, you know you're in trouble.
Apart from a slight typographical error regarding Ceaușescu, The Telegraph ad could not be more unintentionally parodic.  Expressing his sorrow for the put-upon Roma, "It is difficult to believe that such discrimination still exists in Europe today."  He then reels off the nefariousness of Romanians as continuously shifty people against who we must be on our guard continuously.  It is indeed difficult to believe that such discrimination still exists in Europe today.  You couldn't make it up.  Irrespective that some of his beloved Roma have a part in the crime figures he magics up (one source is from a drama-documentary, wow, solid) - it is well documented that were plenty of Balkan Roma who made a killing sanction-busting in the break-up of Yugoslavia - by withdrawing from the EU, British police will be less able to cooperate with their Romanian counterparts to nip criminality at source and also lose access to the Europol services.
Long may the scrutiny of UKIP continue to expose them as the closet racists they are.  Spoil your ballot rather than vote UKIP - it's the same difference.  If you want to rattle the establishment (as so many across Europe will be doing), vote Green.

Smashing Spanish football

He played a very large in David Beckham being sent off at the World Cup in 1998, but Diego Simeone has emerged as a coach of quite exceptional talents.  Winning La Liga for Atlético Madrid for the first time in 18 years, when the late, flamboyant Jesús Gil was owner (Gil, in Roman tradition, had a triumph involving an elephant).  In seeking to break the duopoly of Barcelona and Real Madrid, the title had come down to the final day - a clash where if Barcelona won they would be crowned champions.  Atlético hung on to draw the match, levelling after going behind.  Shamefully, no trophy was handed out as the head of the Spanish Football Federation was elsewhere (I bet he would have been there if Real had been playing a match to clinch the title).
Now onto Lisbon, where Atlético face their city rivals, bidding fair to win their first European Cup against Real's aim of a tenth.  Normally, I would go for Madrid to complete a round '10' but they have undermined all romance of that by looking beyond to claim an 11th.  Such arrogance typifies Real and that is why I really hope Atlético break their duck and the hearts of Real supporters.
I probably won't be able to see the Champions League final as, with Michele Platini's insistence on being on a Saturday for (rich) families, this year that date clashes with my wedding anniversary.  Looks like late-night highlights for me.

Three strikes and you're out but one strike seems to be okay

Politicians in young democracies can be a combustible bunch - brawls have been observed in places as far flung as 1990s Russia, South Korea, Ukraine and Taiwan to name a few.  In Greece, a member of the fascist Golden Dawn punched a female member of the Communist Party in a TV 'debate'.  Even in mature democracies, no-nonsense politicians can suddenly turn into Fists of Fury, though it is rarer - the most notable being John Prescott responded to having an egg cracked over his head in the 2001 election campaign with a quick one-two towards his agent provocateur, gaining the sobriquet 'Two Jabs Prescott' (né Two Jags Prescott).  Now, those that get hit by eggs in this country either beat a hasty retreat (Nigel Farage, in an almost Benny Hill routine, comes out of a Land Rover one side, get hit by an egg and exits into the other side of the Rover) or make light of it (Ed Miliband, at a street market).  Crack aficionado Toronto mayor Rob Ford gets a mention in dispatches for pushing over a female politician in the regional legislature.
With a military coup as recently as 1980 and interference from the barracks for the next quarter of a century, Turkey falls into the former category of ingénue democratic polities.  Still, at around the same time photographs were being circulated of an aide kicking a prostrate associate of the grieving families, the Turkish prime minister himself was seen punching one of the citizens of the mining town of Soma - where the disaster occurred - caught on video and put on YouTube (the poster gets a little confused, calling the area 'Somalia').  For sure, it's not nice to be called a 'murderer'(or some such) to your face but a politician should never react that way to verbal abuse.  Erdoğan's speech afterwards was focussed more on absolving his government of blame than providing consolation for the families and action for the future.  No doubt, if forced to give a speech defending his pugilistic behaviour, Erdoğan would reel off a list similar to that I outlined earlier.
It's tempting to say that in a mature democracy Erdoğan would be facing a battle for his political future but that would be both unfair and patronising, as Rod Ford's endurance in Toronto bears testament.  Gordon Brown's poll ratings as prime minister rose instead of falling after being accused of being a bully within his office.  Erdogan is a canny politician as evidenced by his subjugation of the army to civilian rule (and a largely compliant media helps) but the term 'streetfighter' to indicate a survivor in a certain arena (be it politics, sport, etc) now has unpleasant connotations.

The real killer

Soma was the drug to keep the masses placid in the face of benevolent despotism in Brave New World.  In the last couple of days, Soma is associated with the mining disaster in Turkey where 282 people have died, a figure that could rise to 400.  The private company that owns the mine said it had passed all inspection requirements, yet it would not be a surprise if even these lax rules were agreed by bribe.  Corruption in Turkey is still a plague, yet now Soma has roused the masses to react against the benevolent, increasingly despotic Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (ironically many of these would have recently voted for him, ignoring the graft scandal in which he was involved).
It reminds me of the earthquakes that hit Turkey and Greece within a month of each other in 1999.  Though the first Turkish earthquake near Izmit was 7.9 on the Richter Scale compared to the Athens earthquake of 5.9 and Turkey suffered a second earthquake in the same area five days later, the Athens earthquake had a devastating very shallow hypocenter combined with unusually high ground accelerations.  The loss of life and destruction was in no way comparable.  In Greece, 143 people were killed and more than 2,000 injured in the worst earthquake disaster to hit the country in 18 years.  In Turkey, the death toll was an unimaginable 17,127 (some academics say the real total was 45,000) and 43,359 injured.  300,000 people were rendered homeless.  In Greece, 100 buildings collapsed.  In Turkey, 120,000 poorly engineered houses were damaged beyond repair, 30,000 houses were heavily damaged, 2,000 other buildings collapsed and 4,000 other buildings were heavily damaged.  The badly designed and weakly enforced building regulations in Turkey compared to the more stringent standards demanded by the EU of Greece (and implemented) are directly responsible for the differences in the severity of the quakes' consequences.  Effective jurisprudence or lack thereof was the real killer in the 1999 earthquakes in Turkey.  Again, in Soma, the failure of the law and the rule of law has contributed to the worst mining catastrophe in Turkey's history.
What is the response of Erdoğan's team to the public anger?  One aide is seen kicking a prone protestor already being well handled by two policemen.  If crackdown on the innocent is preferred to a crackdown on corruption, horrendous tragedies in Turkey will continue.

Giger counted

The Swiss artist primarily responsible for the design of the xenomorph in Alien, H. R. Giger, has died, at only 74, following injuries from a fall.  His 'biomechanical' artistry was revolutionary at the time and led to the Steampunk trend that is so prevalent today that it got a mention at the Olympics.  He also produced works for recording artists and did some design consultation for Alien³ (with its swimming xenomorph that derived from a dog).  He is one of the names that are legendary yet also low-profile as well - an enigma in himself.

Mmm, Paxo, losing it

Jeremy Paxman must be reading too many hagiographies of himself in the wake of his announcement to retire from Newssnight.  Interviewing Lord (Nigel) Lawson, the crumpled and jowly former Chancellor of the Exchequer, in the last few minutes, regarding Pfizer's proposed takeover of AstraZeneca, Paxman issued the challenge that Michael Howard wanted more tighter safeguards than had already been offered.  Lawson countered, "Well, he may well want that," before Paxman stridently intervened, "No Michael Howard... David Cameron."  That famous interview in the late 1990s was referenced in every item about Paxman's late-night retirement and so every prominent Tory who comes under his gaze is now 'Michael Howard' (Lord Howard to be precise).  Goodness Paxo, you are demob happy!

Nine lives used up

Mr Simpkin, one of two brothers that my parents had as cats, has died, put down by the vet after massive kidney failure - felines don't get dialysis.  He had stopped eating and, as cats do, was preparing for death, so it was the kindest thing that could be done.  The saddest thing was I never got to say goodbye to him.  One day I was tapping on a window to get his attention as he camped on a lower-lying roof.  Now I won't be able to observe his often inscrutable personality.
He was a veteran bruiser who never shirked a fight.  With my own Puss-Puss, he turned himself into a cannonball and barrelled both off the edge of the roof of my parents' kitchen extension, a drop of about 12 foot.  There was a time when my parents said that he had returned to them with a limp and we wondered what kind of animal would have done that to him.  I saw my grandmother at the same time and in her garden I found a foot-long rat on its back on the lawn with its neck ripped open.  I buried the rat to ensure that Simples Pimples would not come to reclaim his quarry.  When my parents' neighbours had a pond, it was a magnet for frogs to lay their spawn and at the height of summer, the corpses of frogs were being fried into my parents' lawn under a baking sun.
He could be lazy as well.  Walking along a fence, Simples came across a rose bush hanging across his path.  Instead of hopping down and going around before resuming his progress, he pushed through the bush, thorns and all, headfirst.  And eventually he came out the other side and continued walking along the fence.  Notoriously hard to please, he would only be happy for you if he wanted to be happy - he never set out to please, unlike his energetic brother Jack.  He was more intelligent than his brother as well, often acting like a general, looking down from on high and co-ordinating his brother as a footsoldier on the ground when a cat would encroach on 'their' territory.
My dad even created a Facebook page for Simpkin with the affectionate name handle of SOB - Son Of a Bitch (biologically unlikely).  I myself was still new to Facebook at the time and when I went onto Facebook, it was still logged on for Mr Simpkin and so the mysterious SOB sent out numerous friend requests to my friends (and was accepted by a fair few).
It is the habitual nature of pets that you will more than likely outlive them and then a hole is left in your family.  No nonsense and occasionally ferocious, Simples was still lovable and I will miss him.

Taint That

The judgement that Gary Barlow and fellow Take That band members Mark Owen, Howard Donald along with their manager Jonathan Wild were knowingly involved in an aggressive tax avoidance scheme might prompt Barlow to say Today I've lost You of the British public as a 'national treasure' is revealed to have feet of clay and The Flood of opprobrium was unleashed.  At the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, on arguably his Greatest Day, Barlow could have been said to Rule the World, a sense of Affirmation after putting some of the sadder parts of his past behind him but now the Shine has certainly been removed.  As he once asked What is Love?, he, Owen (who had more than a 4 Minute Warning on this), Donald and Wild, might ask what is wrong - it was avoidance, not evasion and it doesn't matter What You Believe In, it was all above board.  As he was coining it in, Sunday to Saturday, Could It Be Magic must have been running through his mind.  He was invited to Reach Out for the Pretty Things.  Forget You, embrace me, me, me.  It's a Wonderful World as they took that.
Holding Back The Tears, they will have to pay not A Million Love Songs, rather tens of millions of pounds into the exchequer (should help fund a few more of Michael Gove's free schools) in a manner of 'We All Fall Down' and will keep them Up All Night, that's for Sure.  They will Hate It.  Possibly induce them to Pray.  They can't argue that they did this 'When We Were Young' but then again, they made no Promises.  Having released No Si Aqui No Hay Amor and feeling that Love Ain't Here Anymore, Barlow and his crew may move to Spain or a low-tax outpost in Latin America becoming Aliens, dismissing The Circus of the domestic media.  Equally, he might feel of the British that he and fellow band members Never Want To Let You Go, All I Want Is You and Hold On, for this is All That Matter to Me, whilst saying to the judge Happy Now?  In his SOS, he will ask to Stay Together, say his decency is Back For Good, that this episode has caused Another Crack in My Heart, it wasn't true that he thought Like I Never Loved You At All and he will be terribly sorry to have Broken Your Heart. Eight Letters won't be able to fix it that simply though, even if they rope in Lulu to ask the British to say of themselves Relight my Fire.  Some will still want to stick them upon a Rocket Ship or a Wooden Boat or demand community service where they might tend a Flowerbed in The Garden they were assigned.
Trouble is, Take That have released too many sappy, similarly titled singles to avoid ennui. However, I can say, even if Gary lives to the age of 84, with an abundance of Patience, the Establishment will Never Forget.  Barlow, though keeping his OBE, is a Man who can kiss goodbye to any chance of a knighthood.

Audiovisual

The Guardian can be so up itself some times.  Actually, that's not fair.  The kind of contributors The Guardian attracts can be so up themselves.  Eurovision 2014 was won by Austria's entry - the bearded drag queen Conchita Wurst and it is suggested that 'she' won out over prejudice'.  Que?  Often is the occasion that those who claim rationality is their guiding light stupendously fail to apply it to themselves.  Let's look at the factors.  First off, it's Eurovision where the quirky frequently wins out these days - remember Lordi?  Despite Romania's circular piano, Poland's risqué lyrics and Russia's 17-year old twins, Conchita was far and away the most interesting act there.  If anything, it confirmed prejudice about Eurovision.  Secondly, one of the main viewing and thus voting demographic is camp, perfectly illustrated by the swaying rainbow LGBT flags among the national ones in the Copenhagen arena.  It would have been a surprise had Conchita not won.  Thirdly, she was already one of the favourites at the bookies and was receiving a lot of favourable coverage ahead of the competition.  Finally, it's hardly groundbreaking.  Compared to Israel's transexual act Dana International (which also won), it's not that daring, indeed in some ways traditional.
This is not to say that Conchita did not deserve to win - she did but let's not pretend this was an earthquake or some hard-won liberation fight.  Graham Norton expressed surprise that the juries (who make up half of the national vote after too much neighbourly voting) of Eastern Europe allowed big points to be awarded to Austria, fearing they would disapprove of this exhibitionism.  I don't see why - again, this is Eurovision and they saw past the beard and exulted in the one meaningful song of the entire night.  Conchita's Phoenix was not chuntering courtly love or cosmic whimsy and she justified the idea of a televised musical marathon (26 songs is too much - it should be reduced to 14 or 15 so choices can be informed) for being the complete package.
Russia got booed predictably, even when national awards gave them high points, though when it became clear that Russia would finish as also-rans (indeed behind Ukraine, who still gave Russia four points), those cat-calls became more muted, though it was nearly deafening when the Russian representative announced the direction of points that her country were giving.  The United Kingdom finished way behind in 17th place and on 40 points - Norton lamented being played last on the proviso that people have either tuned out or already made up their minds, but I take the opposite view that Molly Smitten-Browne should have been fresh in people's minds - a little vox pop afterwards when she didn't seem to know the age of her grandmother didn't help her case.  Nor did the will-o-the-wisp lyrics about flowers and peace and the universe.  But, just as Russia is seen as an antagonist in Europe, Royaume-Uni could be seen in a similarly unpleasant light.  As Conchita said, this was a night about 'unity' - a unity that the UK doesn't want to seem to be a part of, so there could be some alienation there.  The much maligned Blue have been the only British act to make it onto the left-hand side of the leaderboard and break 100 points since Gina G in 1998.  At least we finished above Germany (who for once, instead of 12 points, received none from Austria) on 39 points and France who were bottom with a miserable two - that baffled most people but it's still back to the drawing board.  They'll be back, like the misfiring UK, France are one of the principal financial backers of Eurovision.  As often said on these shores, there is always next year.