I just find it most amusing with Arsene Wenger criticises FIFA for allowing Chelsea to appeal their transfer ban thereby giving the Blues the opportunity to buy players in the January window. Given that UEFA dropped 'simulation' charges against Eduardo, which received widespread mocking, after Arsenal appealed, it ill behoves Wenger so soon to get on his moral high horse. After all, it was a clear dive to win a penalty, which the 'victim' got up and scored from. If your leg had been broken in two places, you would try to hurdle the goalkeeper, not throw yourself to the ground, risking any damage to the leg.
But Chelsea have problems of their own. Carlo Ancelotti said after the home game against Atletico Madrid that winning 4-0 was "a dangerous score." Oh, how will Chelsea fans contain their expectations considering how grounded they have been in recent years? Chelsea have not won by such a scoreline since Atleti were in town, so what level of threat have these games caused?
The Champions League is coagulating into its staid formula, Rubin Kazan likely to be eased out of qualification for the knockout stages. Still, the club that always sounds to me like urinary tract infection, Unirea Urzeceni, after humilating Rangers 4-1 in Glasgow and securing a draw with the Ibrox outfit in Romania, are in with a healthy shout. Unlike Liverpool. While it is good to see English clubs succeeding, it never fails to please when a giant stumbles.
Shame that Brazil seem as strong as ever ahead of the World Cup in their comprehensive win over England, who were admittedly fielding a second-string, including essentially the entire back-line. Even defender Lucio had a crack, hitting the upright, prompting the gem from Andy Townshend, "Once he's got sight of the post, he's had a go." I think he was aiming for the goal, not the post, but, hey, I haven't the experience Andy Townshend has.
On a final note, had it not been for Tottenham's monstering of Wigan 9-1, I might haven given Match of the Day 2 a miss. If that had been the case, I would not have spotted the cuddly toy sat next to Adrian Chiles for Harry Hill's TV Burp's competition "Where has the furry creature been this week" or whatever its deliberately long-winded name is. Entered that contest, when it's free

Alexander Pope once said "A little learning can be a dangerous thing;" it implores us to indulge deeper in education. It can also be a harmless thing when ignorance does not change the world. James Kirkup, who has obviously not tasted recently the Pierian spring, was 'analysing' the appointment of Baroness Ashton as the new High Representative for Foreign Affairs - essentially the EU's foreign minister. But your words are as dust if you don't check your facts - a blog is no more substantial than the wind, but when you get paid for appearing in a national newspaper, you really ought to raise your game. To wit "Upon hearing of the death of one of his rivals, Talleyrand, Napoleon's foreign minister, is said to have asked: "What did he mean by that?"
This certainly brought a smile to my face. I'm am no scholar on the intricacies of European politics in the period 1815-1848, but I remember my history books. It was Metternich, the arch-fixer, commenting on the 1822 death of Castlereagh, the British Foreign Secretary, that delivered the quip. Kirkup remarks later in the piece that his opening paragraph is apocryphal. Well ain't that the truth. The only real info is that Talleyrand, the defrocked priest, did work for Bonaparte, although given that he frequently co-operated with the anti-French coalition behind his master's back, it is moot how much use he was. Making such a cardinal error rendered the rest of Kirkup's piece immaterial, since using such a story to llustrate your point, if you get key aspects wrong, you clearly have a feeble grasp of where you're going.
I scanned glassily the article, but Talleyrand's name cropped up again, at the end. Error compounded. "Baroness Ashton is no Talleyrand," he says. How would you know? It is plain that you have little conception of Talleyrand's achievements and quotes or indeed who he is. Far better in this context is Metternich's lament that at times he had controlled Europe, but never had he ruled Austria. The conservative chancellor of the Austrian Empire (as then it was called) also said "I could have predicted anything except a liberal Pope." Were he still alive, he might have wanted to add Baroness Ashton to that list too (mind you, given his work behind the scenes, maybe not).
Incomparably more risible than the newspaper scribe is the quote I heard from one Z-list talking head, who appeared on the show covering the last ten years. "For me, the story of the decade is the story of Heat magazine." A complete absence of learning on this occasion.

It was supposed to be a win-win situation for the French. either the national team went to the football World Cup or they got rid of their quixotic, error-prone coach Raymond Domenech. Instead, they've snatched the worst of all worlds, going to South Africa as cheat, unworthy of their place through the actions of their captain, Thierry Henry, who now does not deserve one last hurrah as the great technical player he is (emphasise 'technical'). Arsenal are hardly a beacon of probity these days, but has the prevalence of deception in La Liga had a corrupting influence on the Highbury legend? Two things are certain: the Swedish referee won't be handling many high-profile games in the near future; and whatever France do at the tournament will be forever tainted by what occurred in Paris.
Elsewhere, 'Golden Guus' hiddink has los some of his lustre, with Russia's failure to make the final 32, though given that the country should not, in all honesty, have made Euro 2008, as with Croatia, what goes around, come around. Slovenia's aggregate victory is two fingers up at FIFA's cowardly, last minute decision to see the play-offs and rubs it into the Croats as another constituent part of the former Yugoslavia that made it through. Taking away the uselessness of Montenegro and F.Y.R. Macedonia, it would have just needed Bosnia-Herzegovina to have overcome Portugal to really humiliate the Croatians. By dumping Russia out, ensuring (along with Greece's victory ove Ukriane) that no part of the former USSR will have an interest in World Cupm 2010, Slovenia have pulled off the biggest play-off shock since Latvia turned over the Turks to go to Euro 2004.
Just a word for Bahrain. They would be one of the tiniest nations ever to reach the World Cup, should they do so and now in consecutive qualifying campaigns they've come so near, yet so far. In the November 2005 play-offs, Trinidad and Tobago proved their nemesis, while in 2009 it is New Zealand (who already have made a World Cup appearance in 1982) who have narrowly crushed their play-off aspirations this time. If they can keep their squad intact from retirement, here's hoping it will be third-time lucky and that Bahrain make it to Brazil 2014.

The stink is not just at home

A Member of the European Parliament who was elected standing for a party that even David Cameron regarded as "fruitcakes" for their stance on Europe has been convicted of expenses fraud. It is not just the main parties who have rot, despite the samller parties attempting to claim they are pure from expenses fiddling. He claimed thousands of pounds a month for secretarial expenses, but actually paid his secretary a pittance of £500 a month, while spending the rest on fine wines and cars. But what interests me most is the name of his personal assistant he so grievously udnerpaid - Lynsey Jenkins. Not that one, surely?

Don't usually watch X-Factor and I only watched about a third of it on the weeekend. It had the usual bombatic opening with the judges entering to the opening music of Star Wars - although Simon Cowell really should have been introuded by Darth Vader's theme.
While Strictly Come Dancing had a fairly traditional approach to marking the eve of Remembrance Sunday in the lapel, those on ITV seemed to regard the poopy as a fashion accessory, with many acts wearing the emblem on their waists, while Chreyl Cole, following her frying outfit last week (though thes ymbol then in obvious place) wore her flower on the wrist. Contestant Lucie appeared not to even do homage tot eh losses of the militray indutrial complex, with no representation of Afghanistan's favouriate forbidden crop that I could see. Having not wached all of Saturday's edition I could not judge the extent of this iconoclasm, but on Sunday, Lucie fell bottom of the public vote, probably displeased at this lack of patriotism and as she wept, chest heaving, up her smock lifted and there on her belt was the manufactured raw material for heroin; wardobe malfunction or what, the costume's designers deserve a kicking - it might have cost Lucie her progression in the competition.
I was surprised Jedward ended in the bottom two and were only reprieved by Cowell, previously their fiercest critic, making it 2-2 on the judges' panel and leaving it to the public to decide - at which point Lucie started sobbing knowing she had no hope against the Jedward juggernaut, despite their slowing here. Cowell knew that losing Jedward would cost the show a million or more viewers and therefore lost revenue; also it helps his acts, his quota intact still.

Just a small word on the football. Chelsea beat at Stamford Bridge Man Utd when the visitors were far superior. Refereeing decisions were prominent. Earlier in the season, Arsenal comprehensively outplayed the Old Trafford team in Manchester and lost. Refereeing decisions were prominent. Let the only football manager who is a knight of the realm unjumble these words: over, evens, season, out, a.

The latest mass shooting had to be near Waco and next to Killeen given both Texan locales' unfortunate recent history, though given the number of gun massacres it was surely only a matter of time before a large tragedy revisited this part of the USA, just as it will only be a matter of time before the NRA pitches up down there and blames society (that's you and me, people), not guns for this terrible incident. Interestingly, the shooter was taken alive, maybe because he is a Muslim and not a nihilist and that Islamic faith may have dictated why it took place on a Thursday, not a Monday, given that the holiest day of the week for Muslims is a Friday. Then again, after racial slurs he could have just snapped and there's no shortage of weapons on a military base, especially one of the largest in the world.

Lisbon is a city famed for sending forth those wishing to explore the brave unknown - and returning with untold riches. Now an EU Treaty signed in its environs promises the same or so say its supporters. The Czech constitutional court has cleared the last legal hurdle to its ratification and even the septic EU-sceptic Czech president has grudgingly said he will sign it, now that he has secured his opt-out and a promise that he won't be shunned at the canapes table by other EU leaders. This puts the Tories in a priceless pickle as the leadership is challenged by the Europe-sceptics that form the core of the party. David Cameron is to renege on his commitment to hold a referendum on the Treaty. Even those who loathe the EU, yet loyal to head office, are squirming about how to square the circle. How they barracked the government when they carped about the Treaty being identical to the failed European Constitution, which Labour did promise a refrendum on. Now the Conservatives are engaging in exactly the same sophistry that they once accused the government of, mumbling that once ratification is complete it will no longer be a Treaty but EU law. Blah di blah. The Nice Treaty in 2000 is part of EU law but it is still a Treaty. The Treaty of Rome created the European Economic Community but it is still a Treaty. The Conservatives can still hold a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty (though how many of this country's electorate have read - or will read - the tenets is a moot point), it will just be rather pointless and poison relations further with the other members of the EU club - which is probably what the Europe-sceptics want anyway. But Cameron is not going down that route and now we can get on with all our lives and have a Finnish person appointed as President of the European Council.