Thursday, June 29, 2006

In the beginning was the Word

So this is it. The real thing - or rather the virtual thing. The realm of the the blogger.

For long now, I have treated blogging for myself in the same manner as I would in trying to walk on liquid water, a dangerous and beyond bounds activity and though I have not revised my ideas on walking on sloshing H2O, I have decided that blogging is too tantalising to put off any longer. Indeed, in the beginning was the Word (though not of Windows). Here are some of my own arias at the whim of a merciless web.

No more delay! To arms and to haste for the clock ticks on the attention of others. I currently work for a Maidstone-based company, part of the Incredible Shrinking British manufacturing sector that, after prolonged exposure to radioactive interest rates and cheap imports, will soon shrink to the size of a blade of grass, whereupon it will soon become a historical heritage industry where people are charged to marvel at how Britain went from being the workshop/sweatshop of the world to the shopaholic gorging itself on the produce of the sweatshops of others. Whatman's (the business, not a lazy surfer dude trad reply) could be a front for a Dr Evil-style organisation as suggested by one of my friends, but I think not. It can produce surreal experiences though such as Niles Barkley's Crazy merging into NB's Smiley Faces when walking from the shop floor into one of the labs with different radio stations on the go; where the Spanish omelette looks like roadkill (I can fully believe the claim 'freshly served'); and where there is a sign near the entrance intoning 'DEAD SLOW', not slow down or very slow but a slow to shake Marley's chains to an ever-increasing crescendo (slowly).

On other news, I hear that Britney Spears' got Obsessive Compulsive Disorder where she can't stop cleaning the house to divest it of germs. Is that why she has a servant to wipe her arse for her (like redundant coalminers, do redundant arse-lickers get re-trained with new skills)? Anyway, she's got this housewife thing down pat, cleaning everything in the home; you missed a bit, luv.

There's me first blog and treat it like a newborn babe. We need to keep the population up after all.