A trip to Fulham

Last night, I paid a visit to Craven Cottage to see Fulham versus Arsenal with an Arsenal friend, Jon Williams. I had got us some good seats because at the start of the season, Fulham FC had sent me a Stadium Card - they had kept me on their books from two seasons past when I went there (again in the Hammersmith End) to watch them play Newcastle (the Magpies won 3-1). We were ten minutes late in arriving and just as we got to the outside of the stadium, we heard a massive roar go up. So we missed the opening goal. At first we thought that must be a Fulham goal, then we heard the Arsenal support pipe up so we thought again, but getting in inside it was Fulham who had opened the scoring, Brian McBride doing the honours. They went on to win 2-1, a first league victory over Arsenal since 1962. I had a good, old time cheering on Fulham, finding it amusing to see them humble Arsenal. Jon was not so enamoured but kept his feelings in check until after the game. The only goal we saw our end was the Arsenal goal by Robin Van Persie, a free kick which curled in (deceptively-looking slowly) and just beyond Antii Niemi who got his fingertips to it. The Gooner support had a good view of Fulham's two goals, of which Arsenal could only halve the deficit and despite being the other end of the pitch, I could see Tomas Radzinski's goal was well-taken. I read this morning in one of the match commentaries that this was one of Arsenal's worst performances in a decade, but Fulham did well and it was an enjoyable, full-blooded match that the home players gave.

Bond is back!

Well, I saw the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, last Monday. Rather than the instant excitement crash-bangs from previous Bond films this version of Casino Royale builds up a stealthy accumulation of pleasure. It doesn't feel like a Bond film, more a cross between the Ipcress File and the Bourne flicks. Part of this is undoubtedly due to the paring down of both the number of gadgets and of their extravagance. It is far less comic in all areas.
Like Batman Begins, this films takes us back to Bond's roots to re-energise the franchise, but whereas Christopher Nolan sets the bulk of his film plausibly in the 1980s, just prior to Tim Burton's Batman, Casino Royale places Bond learning his trade in the modern day, as if the previous MGM twenty film series exists in an alternative reality (though all fictional realities are relative).
There were flaws to this movie, such as grievous product placement, the least of which was for Airbus in title but a vast plug for its new jumbo double-decker which the film assumed would already be cleared for flying by the film release, but which instead points up the embarrassment of Airbus all the more so that it isn't. Moreover, was that Richard Branson espied at Miami airport getting body-searched for weapons? His company gets in the frame as well, but I wonder how much he paid for it and if it came in a similar manner to the auction of walkman-on parts in the next Superman movie.
Cardinal errors though was the creation of a fictional country for the embassy in Madagascar. It was sadly reminiscent of Licence to Kill with it's Isthmus City (Panama City) and the eventually awful Bugs, with its proliferation of so-called post-Soviet states. What you do in this situation is label a country with no moral right of reply. Zimbabwe anyone or perhaps Equatorial Guinea? Deliberately implanting an obvious non-entitysuspends the belief that Bond is operating in the real world. This is why North Korea was cleverly used in Die Another Day and indirectly so in relation to its government. Sure, not many will notice the fake country, but then not so many have heard of Madagascar, so why not fake that up as something else as well. Also, the use of a specific date in the film roots Bond permanently to one era, whereas the franchise hitherto had manipulated the idea of Bond through time shifts according to the geo-politics of the day.
Overall, the film impressed. Daniel Craig was convincing. I liked the use of a black Felix Leiter, as in the 'unofficial' Never Say Never Again. Even if they chop and change the actors playing Leiter as has been done, the character should survive mutilation in a shark attack, since Live And Let Die (and Licence to Kill, for that matter) has already been done. I can't see the boldness of the film producers extending to covering previous Bonds. Seeing Venice at the end (as did the train journey to Montenegro) brought back fond memories of From Russia With Love. Bond and Venice go well together. It's to do with seduction, as much as, say, Ruskin as Casanova.
The producers were hoping to revert to the old format of a film every year that occurred with Sean Connery's first four Bonds and briefly reverted to with Roger Moore's introduction as Bond. Now the second Daniel Craig Bond will be 2008. I wonder if the guiding hand of Paul Haggis will be present on the writers' credits, his rabid anti-Roman Catholicism slipping out momentarily here. There are no full-length Fleming novels to return to, so new themes will perforce have to be created by whoever is commissioned to write it, but hopefully they have a better taste for titles than the anondyne mid-Brosnan films.
Bond is back and he's very much welcome.

You couldn't make it up but the police did

If the intelligence mistakes and gun-crazy policing over Forest Green were not bad enough, it now emerges (with considerably less coverage than the original allegations) that the police have tried to blacken the name of the man they shot in the chest. And the police, as the saying goes, have previous. The poor victim of Forest Green was said to have child pornography images on his second-hand computer (which he used to learn English and maths), but it turns out it was a complete fabrication. As it was when Jean Charles de Menezes was shot numerous times in the head after boarding the Tube train at Stockwell. The police were happy to let out witness reports that saw a man dressed in bulky vault the ticket barriers - subsequently revealed as a plain-clothes policeman and that he ran away from the police - subsequently revealed as the vanguard of the pursuing cops. The truth is (as all the witness reports are compiled) de Menezes gave out no indication of suspicion and the whole besmirching operation was designed to cover up the monumental incompetence and following cowardice of the Metropolitan Police. One of those officers who blew away the unsuspecting de Menezes is at it again, acting as judge, jury and executioner as a suspect at an armed robbery situation was killed instead of being incapacitated. Dom Joly should do an adaptation of his past work and call it Trigger-Happy PC. It was Stephen Lawrence's murder and the appalling, deliberately-botched investigation that followed that got the Metropolitan Police the tag 'institutionally racist', such as trying to say that Lawrence's friend and witness to the murder was involved in rape cases and was caught driving a stolen car (in fact, his own). Teh tag though merely confirmed the obvious and if the Met has taken steps to clean itself up, it is fallen victim to 'institutional Islamophobia' to the point where clean-shaven Brazilians are at risk, let alone men with beards. Meanwhile, there is no anonymous internal sources talking about heads rolling at MI5 or the Met, because, in the War on Terror, incompetence and malfeasance are rewarded. Politicians indulging in dangerous, millenial talk of the West facing a 'generation of war' (or at least war until the current generation of politicians are out of office), and with the police shabbily trying to protect themselves rather than the public after cock-up upon cock-up against Muslims (whatever happened to those ricin poison plotters; once more, charges dropped), radical imams have a goldmine to expolit. Or maybe, MI5 and the Met are trying to cut out the middleman and are directly trying to be recruiting sergeants for extremist Islamists themselves.

As England crumble in the first test at the 'Gabba-toir' (just like at Lords when we reclaimed the Ashes in the successful series last year), Steve Harmison is coming under intense criticism. Radio Five Live put up a suggestion about what breakfast to feed Harmison to boost his spirits. I say feed him to the sharks.

Book review

As I clear some space in my bookshelves for the inevitable Christmas deluge, I decided to read Ben Elton's This Other Eden, a novel I had not perused at all since buying many years ago. It is surprisingly topical considering it was first published in 1993, what with its central theme revolving around the destruction of the environment and people making individual decisions to a collective problem, leading them to declare it's a problem too vast for them so they do nothing to prevent it. People are encouraged to live in self-supporting biodomes in the mid-21st Century to survive the moment when the earth becomes uninhabitable through their activities; the leaders of the green movement are in cahoots with those marketing the biodomes, but don't think I've given away the plot as there's much more to it and plenty of personal interest besides, the latter becoming the main thing towards the end. Even the "I'm-going-to-tell-my-villainous-plan-before-I-kill-you" shtick is handled smartly. And the chief bad guy is a media tycoon not unlike the one currently apologising in the news for giving a disgraced American football player/film star more publicity than the American public can stomach. Despite a few post-modern attempts at literary conceits and the tad self-congratulatory ironic twists, the book is no high art, but it doesn't intend to be, rather its ambition is to be the (not-so) original page turner, testified by me reading the last 250 pages - more than half the book - in half a day. Airport fodder then, but it serves its purpose well.

Wisdom with wine but not in the US

When Condoleezza Rice said back at the tail-end of the Israeli/Hizbollah war last summer that what we were witnessing was the "birth-pangs of the new Middle East," I just saw it as another outrageous piece of defending indefensible US policy in high-falutin' terms. But from today, it all becomes a lot clearer to me. In the Gospel of Mark Chapter 13 Verse 8, Jesus, talking about the signs of wars, earthquakes and famine as signs, says that these are the "birth-pangs" of the end of the world. Now, Rice is an educated women, but not as pragmatic as her predecessor Colin Powell was. Knowing that powerful evangelicals in America pressed for the Iraq war to speed up Armageddon (from Megiddo, a mountain on the Israeli-Lebanese border), then this alignment of phrases seems a bit too cosy to be denied. So, it appears that current US foreign policy is about realising the end of the world.
On another note, went to a Wine and Wisdom night yesterday with my parents, where we met with friends to form a team. Out of 14 teams, we finished in the top half of the table (just), which is probably a fair return for answering 75% of the questions correctly.

Charity and birthday

With BBC1 giving their Friday night schedule over to oblivion in aid of Children in Need, it was the perfect night to go out to a party yesterday without worrying about clashes in video recording. I did tune in early on, around quarter past seven, to see the fare, to find Girls Aloud lip-synching in the rain (and badly at that). At the end as the band took their bow, Chris Moyles as compere appeared, mingled with the lip-synchers and said pervily that he was 'in' Girls Aloud. What I would watch (or record) on the night would be if that Children in Need advert followed through and Terry Wogan really was involved in a bare-knuckle fist fight, no holds barred (but with his shirt staying on). It's all in the name of char-ri-dee.
I walked down to the party - held in the backroom of a pub - with the rain showing no inclination to stop. It was a birthday and instead of the unoriginal free pint, I had bought a Science Museum piggy bank in the form of an ATM (from Debenhams). Approaching the pub and not wearing my glasses, the lettering was in curly olde English, we looked like it spelt out The Bastard Arms, but it was actually my intended destination, The Hastings Arms. Largley enjoyable was the night, though the chipolatas were not so moist and made my decision, as the buffet came out, to pile eight of them onto my plate, slightly regrettable (though I still ate them all). We were even treated to a two solos and then a joint rendition by two of the birthday boy's musical friends (pre-arranged) though strangely, as it might seem, the individual performances were greater than the sum of their parts. Considering it took me fifty minutes to get there, thankfully at the end (past one) I got a lift home.

Justice? Self-interest more like

It is reported that Blair has now given 'evidence' to the Iraq Study Group. What he said about how getting a solution for Palestine would reduce the violence in Iraq is honourable but off course. At the outset of the invasion in 2003 or even in 2004, that might have made a difference, but now the collapse of Iraq is too far in full swing for the Israeli-Palestinian issue to have any bearing. Do Sunnis or Shi'ites slaughtering each other in sectarian rivalry really care about their Palestinian brethren to lay down their arms if an answer was found? Once again, the Arab world is seen as a monolithic bloc, which is as insulting as saying the ethnic tensions in Kosovo can be laid to rest with a resolution of the Basque problem. A pity Edward Said is no longer around to rebutt the Prime Minister.
Also, this ISG is chaired by James Baker. With Bob Yates as Defence Secretary-elect, we can really say that this is Bush's second term, but not the one sitting in the Oval Office, but the elder Bush as he takes an ever increasing role, despite being past eighty. Yates and Baker are his men and this is just influence at the sharp end.
I have severe qualms over James Baker as head of the ISG, which is looking for a way to give some stability to Iraq. When I was in Mongolia in the first half of the year, Baker paid a visit to the country. It wasn't a social call. A big North American company, Ivanhoe Mines, had bought up the rights to a stretch of land in the south, Oyu Tolgoi, earmarked to become the biggest copper mine in the world. Under the terms, Mongolia would get 2% of the revenue and the rest would go to Ivanhoe. Baker was here for nepotistic reasons, since his son (James Baker Jnr.) is one of the top consultants to the Ivanhoe Mines president, Robert Friedland, the latter who looks oily and lizard-like even in photographs. Despite the varying price of copper, Oyu Tolgoi, was set to become the economic salvation of Mongolia, until the government which fell shortly after signing the contract because of corruption, signed it away almost free to a foreign company. Massive street protests have occured in the central city square in front of the parliament and Baker flew in to strongarm the current Mongolian government into sticking to the contract, without any amendments to its inequitable status, warning of dire consequences for the future of foreign investment should change to the terms happen. Mongolia became democratic in 1990, but if this is how Baker treats countries who became democratic under their own steam, what will happen to Iraq where the USA is the chief occupying power? Plainly to say, American interests will supersede Iraqi ones; that much is obvious.

A good few days for democracy

As the Senate is on the brink of finally falling to the Democrats and their securing of the House, we must not forget another seed of progressive politics has been sown. Down in Nicaragua, Daniel Ortega has won, with his opponent conceding as final proof of that. Ortega is part of the Sandinista group that in the 1980s overthrew a barbaric right-wing regime to implement social justice measures and was punished by the Pentagon and Reagan with a covert civil war that actually subverted the US constitution. Ortega lost in elctions in 1990, but he is back now, wiser and less outspoken, but still just as committed to relieving the needs of the poor, who make up four-fifths of Nicaragua's population. I wish him well.

A new dawn, a new day?

Well, I was waiting until the senate race in Virginia was concluded, but so razor-thin is the result that it might not be until the middle of November before all the votes are counted and the end of the month if a recount is declared and I'm not going to wait that long until I post on this. I was going with the majority of pundits that the Democrats would win the House of Representatives, gain some ground in the senate but not win it and George Bush would treat the result in the way that Ted Haggard uses methampthetamines to get high before he had gay sex i.e retaining control of the Senate gives Bush a mandate would be the spin. But the Democratic scale of victory is sweeping and they might still get effective control over the Senate as well. This despite the Democrats having no coherent strategy of their own, but casting the poll as a referendum on the president and the Iraq war, though considering the notorious incompetence of Democratic party bosses maybe this is just as well. I never thought the Democrats could do so well - let's hope they use their new power wisely once they are installed.

Alex Ferguson's first game in his first year in charge ended in embarrassing defeat. The knight's first game in his twenty-first year has ended in even more ignominious fashion. Big name players could not overcome a lead Southend held from the 27th minute onwards. Even when not belonging to the Championship club one can savour it.

And a rare thing indeed. Ahead of the Ashes the Aussies (through Shane Warne) showing humility. Will the world of sport never cease to surprise me?

Like name, like current emotions

Days after admitting to taking methamphetamines, the top pastor at New Life mega-church, Ted Haggard has 'fessed up to having regular gay sex with a man - the allegations were irrefutable. To say that he was "warring inside of himself" rather sidesteps the fact that he was letting another man into himself for three years (or was Haggard always the giver). It is interesting that he considered admitting to drug abuse was not as bad as doing the same about homosexual rumpy-pumpy, given the gap in the days between the two. Not that he has led a wholly Christian life anyway, full of judgement and condemnation, lacking in forgiveness; and actively getting into politics was far from wise because religion is always the first casualty of the muck-slinging. Remember, give unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God, what is God's - the outlining of the separation of church and state).
All the public figures on the right are seeking to distance themselves from ever being connected to Haggard, as if a disease was possible, instead of offering compassion and pity, mercy and sympathy; one must call into relief, however, that Haggard would be doing exactly the same thing, if this wasn't him in the media dock.
So Haggard must be feeling pretty much like his name right now. Having resigned his position, maybe he could make a stab at a comeback by claiming some grievous sadness in his life. Mark Oaten for the Liberal Democrats said his balding drove him into the arms of a male prostitute.
And Haggard has criticised Clinton's sexual excesses. A certain (Son of) Man 2000 years ago said "Take the beam out of your own eye before you criticise the speck of sand in someone else's". It wasn't Haggard who took the beam out of his own eye though, it was his male partner who did so, outraged at Haggard pressing for a ban on same-sex marriages (wholly gratuitous in a state such as Colorado anyway, but the political theme returns). The wanton hypocrisy sickened Haggard's gay lover and made him come out with Haggard unexpectantly in tow. What is best at this moment is to let Haggard and his family sort out their future of their lives in privacy. Maybe if Haggard reappears in public gaze in the future, we will see a more humble side of him yet to be seen.

Bond is back again (and again)

With the upcoming James Bond film, due for imminent cinema release, using the last of the full-length Ian Fleming novels that has gone through a serious adaptation, you wonder how many more contortions on action extravaganza plots can be wrung from the series. I find Bond films great but once Casino Royale with Daniel Craig comes out, where can the franchise go from here?
It may get to the point after many years, where, having exhausted all other avenues for filmic potential, the plot for one film will revolve around James Bond filling in his tax returns. Bond is back in "On Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs Service - Tax Form 101E." Bond sits down on the sofa in his living room, the deadly form on the coffee table before him. Ah, if he had not left it to the last moment, he would not be in such a lethal position, but there were so many sexy women to bed that to pass them up would be criminal. Right, get out my "CLASSIFIED" stamp and I'm off. Name. Hmm. Do I put my real name or one of my aliases? The taxman is one of my greatest opponents to date - he will not care for my ignorance such is his ruthlessness. But, yes, of course, so obvious. I will stamp it with "CLASSIFIED"; they will work it out from my National Insurance number. Age. A bit personal. Some say I should be in my late twenties, others say I look far better if I give out that I'm in the mid-forties. But the truth will confound the taxman. There. Male or Female. If you are giving me the choice, I'm always going for the ladies; oh, it's relating to me. Job. "CLASSIFIED". National Insurance number. Right, done that. Marital status. Widowed. Do I receive any continuing legacy from the deceased? Well, she was the daughter of the boss of Corsican gangster organisation, the Union Corse, and I certainly can't receive any payments off him. Children? Well, I used a condom when one was available. I mean, such are my conquests, my supply won't always be topped up. Best stamp that with "CLASSIFIED". That was a taxing question, ho, ho. Hmph, I wish there had been a female foil to hear my stunning pun.
Having completed his form eventually, he hops into his Aston Martin DB5, barnstorms through town (because of a special non-speed paint developed by Q Branch, speed cameras can't pick him up), and screechs to a halt infront of the Post Office. Getting to the door, he finds a long queue, no doubt a fiendish idea by the taxman, and the post office closes in less than ten minutes. No matter, Bond karate chops on the neck old ladies waiting to withdraw their pension and overturns prams, as he struggles to reach a clerk in time. "Position Number Four is now available". He's made it with 8 minutes 33 seconds to spare. This is the real world after all. Walking up to the booth, the clerk remonstrates with Bond as to the chaos he has caused behind him. Bond withdraws his Walther PPK. Whoops, didn't want that. Bond replaces it and withdraws his tax form to hand to the now pliant clerk. As Bond walks out the Post Office, police cars race up outside. Bond is alert. He takes out his ID and flashes it to the cops. What's the trouble. "We've heard reports of a robbery in progress. "Right," Bond says, slipping out his trusty (it never jammed on him) Walther PPK and turning back to the Post Office entrance, "follow me."

Newcastle played in the biggest reserves game in the world ever last night... and won! Both teams had held back many key players because of weekend games and Newcastle were reduced to using 18 year old Tim Krul on his debut as goalkeeper, while upfront Albert Luque was pressed into service as our sole striker. That this game with Palermo in Sicily was televised and had first billing on BBC Radio Five Live, that's impressive for the weakened line-ups. It was, however, and despite the differences in mediums, far more enjoyable watching Newcastle's 'second string' defend a 1-0 lead away than listen to the 'first team' grind out a grim 1-0 victory at home to Fenerbahche. There was fluidity and lightness of touch to Newcastle's game. I was hoping for a draw at best, but the lads, above all Tim Krul, surpassed themselves.

With news that a leading evangelical pastor in Colorado has resigned his position because of allegations that he had gay sex with a man over three years, that Genesis song parodying American televangelists suddenly becomes even more prescient.

The massive gangland war now raging in Naples since Romano Prodi's governments pardoned loads of crims to ease prison overcrowding should get some creative minds going, principally Grand Theft Auto - Naples 2006: The Code of Omerta. Along the lines of Vice City, "you are released from jail with thousands of other hoods upsetting the delicate power balance between the clans - do you have the guts and the ruthlessness to fight your way to the top and become Naples' top don?" I think we are onto another winner here.

People in glass houses

Arsene Wenger said a few weeks back (in a dig at Chelsea) : "You are not a big club if you win ugly." It should also be added that you are not a big club if you fail to qualify for the Last 16 of the Champions League. It's all very well getting to the final of the competition the season before, but once you get into the knockout stages, a well-organised defence and dollops of luck in two-parter games separate from other results, make progression for big clubs not always as straightforward as it seems. But big clubs prove their status by getting to at least the Last 16 by the quality of their consistency and the consistency in their quality in the Group Stages where the Champions League really is a league. Now, of course, Arsenal should have crushed CSKA Moscow (just as they should have done with Everton, etc.), but you can't criticise other clubs when you fail to make results justify play. Arsenal had eighteen corners last night - there would have been no dishonour had Arsenal had scored from even just one of them.