Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Brexit deck of cards

Though some might say they are knaves all and others Guilty Men (and women), yet more would say they pose a greater threat to peace and prosperity than Saddam and his crew, of whom in 2003 the USA issued a 'playing deck' of 52 most wanted Iraqi figures.

Spades:
Ace: Vladimir Putin
King: Donald Trump
Queen: Marine Le Pen
Jack: John Howard
10: Richard Dearlove
9: Geert Wilders
8: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
7: Matteo Salvini
6: Tom Van Grieken
5: Vojislav Seselj
4: David Owen
3: Winston Peters
2: David Trimble

Clubs
Ace: Rupert Murdoch
King: Paul Dacre
Queen: Allison Pearson
Jack: Richard Desmond
10: Barclay brothers
9: Tony Gallagher
8: Victoria Newton
7: Hugh Whittow
6: Martin Ivens
5: Kelvin Mackenzie
4: Katy Hopkins
3: Tom Newton Dunn
2: Dawn Neesom

Diamonds:
Ace: Arron Banks
King: Nigel Farage
Queen: Priti Patel
Jack: Norman Lamont
10: Stuart Wheeler
9: Tim Martin
8: Anthony Bamford
7: James Dyson
6: Douglas Carswell
5: Daniel Hannan
4: Douglas Rees-Mogg
3: Peter Bone
2: Bill Cash

Hearts:
Ace: Michael Gove
King: Boris Johnson
Queen: Gisela Stuart
Jack: Iain Duncan Smith
10: Andrea Leadsom
9: Bernard Jenkin
8: Kate Hoey
7: Nigel Lawson
6: Matthew Elliott
5: Michael Howard
4: Frank Field
3: Suzanne Evans
2: Zac Goldsmith

Plus in a standard playing deck, there are two Jokers
Joker 1: The Queen - because who knows?
Joker 2: David Icke - if we're to be ruled by alien lizards, we'll be ruled by our own alien lizards.

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