Starlight launch

In The Apprentice, the tasks that most enthuse myself are the advertising campaigns because of the creative energies they can unleash.  Of course, a lot of these end in mediocrity on the show because the candidates are focused primarily on selling or other business aspects and don’t have that side to them.  Sometimes, it can go too much the other way and they lose sight of what they are to be promoting.

Tissues, pet meals and kitchen cleaners have all featured, but it is the new cereal campaign that sticks most in the mind, particularly of the dearth of ideas in the minds there that they have to had come up with the lamentable Pantsman (to adopt the Geordie argot of its promoter, it was pants, man).  I could come up with a character easily, by inventing scenarios focusing on the medieval world, the Wild West or a whole host of other realms.  But space would have been my particular pick of my imagination and to create a character from that would be relatively easy.

In the latest edition, last night, they had to bring greater awareness of English sparkling wine.  One advert was dull and the other was trashy.  I’d have gone for something a bit humorous but not in the way the losing team tried (and failed).  With a brand name of Royal Grape, the tag line “Way to the future” and a quasi-futuristic background to the website (whilst not losing focus on the fact that we boosting wine).  The advert would open with the fist bars of the original Star Trek.  “Taste – the final frontier. [a bottle of Royal Grape hoves slowly into view] These are the adventures of the sparkling wine Royal Grape, its English mission to stay true to its roots, to seek out new palettes and accompanying meals, to boldy go where no sparking wine has gone before.  [The fast music kicks in and a few salient, bite-size facts zip up on the screen, in place of the opening credits, staying for a period long enough to read them. An attractive man and woman in futuristic clothing appear with two full glasses, looking at themselves, then the camera].  Lightyears ahead of other competitors and out of this world, English sparkling wine, the enterprising choice.  Make Royal Grape your Number One – it’s the way to the future. [ the couple raise their glasses upwards, as if a rocket launch].”  I conceived all this half an hour after The Apprentice ended.

If questioned on the basis that it was flippant, I would say that most alcoholic beverage companies deploy funny ads or iconic ads and that the latter only come along once every blue moon (certainly not created in two days).  I was confident that the easy familiarity of the Star Trek theme mixed with a laconic style would fix itself in people’s minds and go viral.

Simples!