United Europe

Despite yesterday’s awkward mention of dvisions, here’s something celebrating cohesiveness and that the UK will participate in even if it leaves the European Union – a competition that predates the EEC by one year. The Eurovision Song Contest had its annual hogging of the Saturday night schedule and once again, the UK submitted a deeply average song by an over-the-hill star. It may have worked with Katrina and the Waves but Eurovision has changed. Denmark epitomised it – it was clearly the best song, combining the standard courtly love lyrics with zest and flair. Bonnie Tyler was not very inspiring, despite the Finnish man deputed to delivering his country’s points saying that he loved her (Finland as a country gave the UK no points). Still, other countries had it worse. Ireland had the humiliation of finishing bottom of the pile, though the entry wasn’t bad. Baltics Lithuania and Estonia had a tough gig (though Estonia received 12 points from Finland, they gave none to their northern neighbour and Finno-Ugric kin) and Finland also had a mare – maybe Universal are rethinking the contract they offered to Krista (prior to the event it was a reversal of the career suicide the British view Eurovision). Maybe having a gay kiss at the end caused them to come unstuck, as maybe the competition isn’t such a gay gala outside this island. Royaume-Uni also came ahead of Spain, Germany and France, the latter two failing to emulate Denmark’s success with a generic blonde songstress in a suggestive outfit (although Denmark’s singer looked like Kate Winslet’s long-lost younger sister).


Armenia had a Christian message in their entry Lonely Planet. Graham Norton said it was a surprise that this progressed from the semi-finals – why, because we must all exist in a secular bubble where deeper matters must not intrude? It finished with almost double the points of the British entry, so maybe the UK could not do worse than follow the Armenian example for 2014. Then again, bar a brief reference in the Finnish entry and in Sweden’s interlude while voting was happening, there was no mention of the modern mania for promotion of homosexual rights. Disgusting behaviour of the organisers – there should be a mandated 3% of the viewing given over to overt gayness commensurate with the population.

The contest was held in Malmö rather than Stockholm and there was much imagery concerning the Øresund Bridge connecting the Swedish mainland with Copenhagen. The competitors entered the Eurovision arena on a mock-up of the structure and Eurovision will be going across that same bridge for 2014 appropriately (unless the Danes hold it in Aarhus or somewhere other than the capital).