Two films

Being a completist by nature, I do like to watch a film from start to finish, no matter how awful, just in case – against the odds – there is an upturn in the quality and something altogether spectacular happens.  Altaa wanted to walk out of Watchmen because of the stomach-churning, bone-cracking brutality before our eyes and insistently blasted onto us by the multiplex’s speakers, but I made her persevere (as well as myself) and was rewarded with a semi-decent end scene.

On TV, one can finish a film though not necessarily catch the start when channel surfing.  This can be a negative, robbing you of vital plot point but with easy-going movie-making it is not such a disaster.  Two films I have seen this week would fall into this category.

The Ugly Truth starring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl was pilloried by critics.  I, however, was left of the mind of Spielberg’s words that it is harsh to criticise a motion picture when a lot of people have put a lot of work into making it a reality.  Sure, The Ugly Truth isn’t going to change the face of cinema, yet there is a place for undemanding fare too.  Maybe, I have a soft spot for these romcoms, having liked the critical failures How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and (to a lesser extent) Sweet Home Alabama (Fred Ward and Reese Witherspoon being significant compensations in the latter).  It leaves me - fearfully - wondering if, should I ever catch them, I would enjoy Mamma Mia or This is War.  On balance, I think I would (the ABBA musical was a runaway silver screen success).  The Ugly Truth finally showcased to my own eyes the talents of Butler and, as a laidback stud, there’s probably a lot of his own life on which he can fall back.  I can certainly see why he’s a hit with the ladies.  Heigl was kooky and funny, even if her transformation was a little fast-paced.  The story rattled along most agreeably, raising more than a few laughs and even with a few bold politically incorrect statements (well, bold for mainstream Hollywood) thrown in to the mix.  I suppose the ending was sign-posted (though not in neon lights) and it did try to throw you off the trail until the last ten or so minutes.  The sex scene was cleverly muted to lower the ratings and the one F-word allowed for a 12A was well worked in to the plot too.  It did fall down on realism in the denouement, for if a woman is given the apparent brush-off in her first choice of man, she will not dump her second choice, especially if the latter is unaware of her exchange with the former – people mend and make do.  Casablanca encapsulates this truism perfectly.  So, yes, The Ugly Truth was crude but it did the business of being a relaxing ride. Three out of five.

Babylon A.D.  fell into the same category in that I missed a bit of the start, though, as with The Ugly Truth, not by much.  Set in some miserable future, it’s a road trip in which the gruff Vin Diesel with bond with his charges Michelle Yeoh and Mélanie Thierry.  As America is untouched, we can assume the post-apocalyptic landscapes are a result of a Sino-Russian or a Russian civil war, though curiously Vladivostok seems untouched.  Characterisation is sketch-like at best and the focus is on a few okay-ish action scenes, the kind where the villains expend thousands of rounds of ammunition but the hero needs just one bullet to take down each opponent.  Despite the numerous grim futuristic scenes and a Gotham City-like New York (but of course), it reminded me of Conan the Barbarian’s quests.  It’s a bit like a feature-length Lady Gaga music video though possessing less panache and worse songs.  It really falls apart in the last half-hour, as the plot descends into incoherence.  The final chase scene is, risibly and obviously, on a race test track.  And a vast corporation can only sum up four landcruisers to chase the heroes and then loses all trace of them for years, while Diesel inconspicuously builds a picture-perfect country home.  There is virtually no rhyme or reason to any of this conclusion.  Given the villains, headed by Charlotte Rampling (there are related and unrelated cameos from Gerard Dépardieu and Mark Strong), are in the process of trying to create a new religion, it could be a pop at Scientology, though dressed up and hollowed out so as to not offend the powerful Hollywood adherents.  In addition to some of the early set pieces, there are some striking scenes over what one can be positive, such as a haunting, nuclear-bombed city (as they are travelling east by rail to Vladivostok, I would say Khabarovsk, though geography is best glossed over here) and a Russian submarine breaking through the ice as part of an immigrant run.  The confused, stupid ending (seeming to act as trailer for a forthcoming sequel that never saw the light of day) spoiled what was no more than a clunky and average movie anyway. 1.5 out of five.