Cuise Control

When Hollywood stars fade amid the tumult in the galaxies of the studio system, they do not always go quietly into the night. Some, like Charlie Sheen (who, despite being TV’s best paid actor, was on a comedy show he felt was beneath him, with a credit rating of zilch in the movie industry), go supernova, before collapsing into a black hole of self-regard.

Others whose thermo-nuclear furnaces are ailing, draw on goodwill reserves in what originally propelled them into the firmament, to kick-start their careers again. After languishing in the doldrums when the acclaimed Copland took him nowhere commercially, Sylvester Stallone fought back with a new Rocky and another Rambo – now he can finance pet projects like The Expendables (whose forthcoming instalment will need more wit than just assembling wizened action lunkheads together). Duayne Johnson was dropping off the stellar radar entirely, before he tagged along with the fifth Fast and Furious flick - the reward is to star in the sequel with the crummiest title ever: Journey 2 The Mysterious Island (following on from Journey To The Centre Of The Earth) alongside Michael Caine (who knows a thing or two about bad title, bad movies and a combination of both).

After a misconceived collaboration with Cameron Diaz (who ironically looked older than him) in Day And Knight, the future of Tom Cruise’s career was talked about in disparaging terms, how he was idling away to insignificance. Cruise shot to fame with adrenalin rushes, slowed down when aiming for Oscar respectability with Magnolia and Eyes Wide Shut, before realising the Academy would never give him the statuette he craved and resumed a central role in films that blaze away at bad guys. Yet firmly in the Roger Moore age bracket during the latter’s James Bond period, it was openly questioned where Cruise would go from here. Rich enough to retire and tour the world preaching scientology, that obviously did not chime enough with Cruise’s sensibilities. He fell back on his banker of recent years, the Mission: Impossible franchise.

In contrast to the previous Missions and following the current vogue for subtitling, the numeral is dropped altogether and replaced with Ghost Protocol. Essentially, it’s mad scientist threatens the world shtick but from the opening credits it’s clear that Tom cruise is the major backer for this picture and he’s going back to what he knows best (such as hiring actors not too tall to embarrass him – one ogre of a prisoner is probably only 5’ 11”). Simon Pegg reprises his role, Ving Rhames in a non-combat cameo, with Paula Patton and The Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner tagging along for the ride. Brad Bird is the director – a consultant for The Simpsons during the 1990s, he went on to ‘shoot’ The Incredibles and Ratatouille (both Oscar winners) and his wit, though not overarching, is telling. That noted populist JJ Abrams is on board is no surprise either.


Ghost Protocol (GH from here on in) begins with a panorama scanning over Budapest. It reminded me that Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy adopted a similar approach but an agent jumping backwards off a building, blasting would-be-assassins as he fell before landing in a crash mat that seconds before had the size of a chewing gum packet, is about as far as you can get from the Gary Oldman vehicle. There’s the inevitable roadshow of other glamorous locales: Moscow, Dubai, Mumbai, San Francisco. But if anyone thinks that being a secret agent is an ace profession, the part is tinged with tragedy making GH quite hard-hitting in real time.

It takes in current affairs with the re-set in relations between the USA and Russia a key component – fractious but working towards the same ends. I was a little baffled that Putin would allow a Hollywood crew inside his inner sanctum, much less destroy one of the Kremlin gates and a lot of Red Square (with CGI). There is the quid pro quo as the male Secretary of State (move over Hillary) gets a bullet in the head.

Conventions of the business are followed. The villain may be Swedish (and played by a Swede in Michael Nyqvist), yet his English is of the Received Pronunciation variety with another of a European twang to bestow true dastardliness. Also, only women can fight each other and that (spoilers from here on in, though as GH coming to the end of its cinema run that warning may be redundant) the villainess suffers a suitably impressive death, being kicked out near the top of the Burj Dubai, the tallest occupied building in the world. Moreover, this is Mission: Impossible, it can’t be truly sad for the hero Ethan Hunt. It would have been a bit of a waste of saving his wife in the third film only for her to be killed off in the interim between then and now. I always felt that David Fincher wasted the opportunities of all those who survived Aliens by killing off all bar Ripley for Alien3, justifying it by scripting it that they all had face-huggers infect them – it was pointlessly punitive. Here, Hunt’s spouse is still alive as her death was faked to protect her from all those who wished ill of Hunt. Noting the credible rumours around Cruise, this could be wish fulfilment for him – married but with a wife that must remain distant – while for the rest of us it is a bittersweet denouement, giving the movie an edge that it threatened to throw away.

So a triumph, not one to live too long in the mind, but as Cruise seems to keep the Picture of Dorian Gray in his attic (along with Katie Holmes it is rumoured), he can keep going on with the franchise until retirement.  Just as long as the right short people are available under contract.  Three out of Five.