Craven surrender

Today's match at Fulham Football Club did not go according to plan for anyone of a black-and-white persuasion, not least because in my weekly office sweepstakes, Newcastle United were one of my picks to win.  I was effectively playing double or quits as to attend in person would be a fairly miserable experience should the Toon lose.  Which I did and they did.
After the District Line dicked me around, a brisk walk from Putney Bridge ensured I got there just in time for kick-off.  My seat was located in the middle of a bank of Fulham supporters and seemed occupied to boot.  Rather have some argy-bargy and waving my ticket (all the while wearing a Magpies top under my shirt), I elected to sit down on one of two unoccupied seats by the aisle.  Luckily, no-one came to claim them.
The first half was largely uninteresting - the kind of game that football critics love to mock - distinguished only by a decent save by Tim Krul, the same from his opposite number David Stockdale and a chant from the away section, "We kno-ow, oh yes, we kno-ow, Alan Pardew, we know where you are."  My pick would be to have the banned gaffer stand where Michael Jackson's statue used to be, just to say,  "I'm not IN the stadium."
A gaggle of ladies arrived some way in after the match had started, prompting one fan to tell them, "you've already missed half of the first half," a statement of unerring accuracy as the clock told 22 minutes, 30 seconds as he finished speaking.  They hadn't missed much and in the stinging sunshine, the temptation to briefly nod off was too great for the old man sitting next to me.
The sight of Howard Webb unnerved me as he is at best a bad luck charm to The Tyneside club, at worst anti-Newcastle.  Here though he seemed in lenient mood to Newcastle's cause but misfortune still befell the Magpies.  Second halves by the banks of the River Thames have a notoriety for hurting Newcastle, Fulham usually scoring the winning goal (or more) then, after duelling with mediocrity in the first 45 minutes.  Craven Cottage has buried better Newcastle sides than today's one, going back to John Carver's first appointment at the club as coach under Sir Bobby Robson.  The second half was a siege barring two brief, ineffectual sallies from Newcastle.  After little more than a minute, they had the ball past Krul in the net but it was ruled out for offside.  The linesman was terrific as he had the sun in his eyes for the entirety of the match, the blazing orb only 'going-in' at half-time before re-emerging at the restart!
United had no answer to Fulham's higher tempo.  Loic Remy, Hatem ben Arfa and Davide Santon were all injured, Yohan Cabaye had of course been sold and thus there was no creativity.  There was little motivation either after a European place receded even further following the FA Cup that ensures either Hull City or Sheffield United will be playing Europa League football.  Relegation, while not mathematically impossible, is not going to happen.
Fulham had another goal disallowed for offside but then, when things had calmed down, made the breakthrough through substitute Ashkan Dejagah.  The Iranian with the unfortunate first name fired in from a long way and Krul should have saved it.  Towards the end of the game Dejagah picked up an injury and so the substitute was substituted.
With such a small squad with nothing play for, had Pardew been around to growl from the touchline, the result would have been the same.  In fact, had Fulham not won it would have been a travesty.  So Felix Magath records his first win as manager but it probably is not enough to spark a dash for survival - Newcastle were that poor.