Trident - the toothpaste you can't trust

Take Trident and you'll leave your teeth with a luminous glow (of light green). Fills all the cavities in the defence budget with macho pride. Remember to ask permission from your American parent first because it isn't really yours to use. And with the reduction from four subs to three, now even more useless! Can blast away insurgent plaque or trounce Taliban tartar in one sweep (caution: may cause incalculable damage to civilian gums).